They're still pushing. Okay, maybe not all of them, but Hannah is. She keeps telling me "You need to talk about your experiences, so you can start to get over them." Still not exactly sure how that's supposed to work. What? I start talking and magically all the problems just go away? Not likely. All sharing my thoughts would do is darken the mood of anyone who hears them.
Normally, that's how I feel. But...well...there is the fact that Sam seems to be better after talking it out. Dustin, a friend of Hannah's, seems pretty good at helping. Maybe...no. Not yet. The wounds are still too fresh. Literally. I still can't put pressure on my back--or my stomach, for that matter--without wanting to cry out from the pain. Having my physical pain so plain for all to see is enough for now. They do NOT need to see what I'm feeling on a daily basis...
Sam's arm is still in its cast. Paul, Jeffrey, and Ginny are still struggling to figure out their new lot in life. And we're all still, at least partially, in shock over what happened to Erin. Just thinking about her is enough to make me lose my temper. Even now, as I write this, the ground under my room is beginning to vibrate. It's affected by my anger, and, if I had a proper target, I would love to throw my aggression at it. I took down a house, what would stop me from taking down a man too? Nothing. That's what.
The anger doesn't usually last long. It flairs from time to time, but my default setting lately is depression. By exposing my abilities to Mason, I put everyone I know in danger. Sam was kidnapped and injured. Erin...poor Erin. Her life was never a happy one, but we all tried to give her a real family. I hope she felt at least some happiness while with us. Alice and Hannah's home was invaded...the list could go on. There are often times when I wonder...
Would they all be better off without me?
This is the third of my Character Journal Entries, and the second featuring Jason- post Tracker. If you enjoyed this snippet of Jason's mindset, please feel free to examine the other writings included on this site--or click on the link and check out Tracker (Earthshaker 1), Kindred (Earthshaker 2), and Hunter (Earthshaker 3) All available on Amazon-- viewAuthor.at/AdrianneLemke Happy Reading! Adri
No comments:
Post a Comment