Some days I hate myself. There are things I have done, and things I have made others do, that I am not proud of. Most recently getting Jason involved in our Trevor Mason case. Possibly the worst mistake of my life. I know my sister was furious with me for what happened, and so were the kids. Especially Paul. He refused to speak to me for quite a while after everything Jason went through. Honestly? I can't blame him. I knew exactly how dangerous Mason was, and still asked a street kid to get information on him.
Our house has been shaken, figuratively as well as literally, since this whole thing started. It was bad enough when Jason disappeared, and everyone was mad at me. Now he's back, and every time he loses control or comes upstairs with dark circles under his eyes, and a pained wince, everyone glares at me. The only one who doesn't seem to be upset at me, is Jason. No, he hasn't been open about what he's been through--I still don't know everything Mason did to him, and probably never will,--and he has been pulling away from everyone, but he specifically told the others not to blame me. He told them he made his own choices, and doesn't blame anyone but Trevor Mason. Jason flinches a little every time the name is mentioned, and stuttered a bit when he said he only blamed Mason. Part of me believes he blames himself, more than he blames me.
After losing my parents I was able to get custody of Hannah, and took the responsibility to keep her safe and protected. When I met Jason, it was soon after our parent's death. So I was still new on the job, had recently taken in my sister to raise, and met a thirteen-year-old Jason. My protective instincts screamed at me to take him in, and get him somewhere safe. But he would not come. His trust in authority was thoroughly wrecked, and I didn't know for sure what happened until recently. Of course I had my suspicions, but Jason never confirmed anything until after we wrapped up the case.
Quite honestly, I believe Jason may be the strongest man I have ever met. He had the strength to not only escape a bad situation, but also to gather other street kids and protect them from the worst parts of living on the streets. Thanks to Jason, none of the kids fell into drugs or stealing. They also avoided other dangerous activities, like joining gangs or getting forced into prostitution, made more likely for kids by living on the street.
Jason's protection was invaluable, so it was not surprising that the kids were angry about what their protector went through. Trevor Mason had almost stolen their protector.
And I practically gift-wrapped Jason for him. I might never forgive myself for that.
The second of my 'character journals'- featuring the characters from the Earthshaker Series, and their thoughts after Tracker. If you like this sample, check out other examples of my writing on the blog, or follow the links on the page to get the books! Any comments? Feel free to share! Happy reading!